The Other Man
by DoodleTaffy
Summary: Okay so, this is my take on the dinners scene b/tw Robin&Barney in "Do I Know You?".There are slight spoilers for "Do I Know You"&"The Best Burger"Rated T for mild language.


The Other Man

Show: How I Met Your Mother

Pairing: Barbin(Barney/Robin)Spoilers: "Do I Know You? & "The Best Burger"

Summary: This is my take on the dinner scene between Barney & Robin in "Do I Know You?"

This was made purely for fun nd no profit, all rights belong ot CBS except for "Andy"& the other nameless waiters at The "Blue Rock Grill."

--

Robin was sitting there, nervously waiting for Barney Stinson.

"Why in the world does he want me to meet him here?" She thought as she looked around the, "Blue Rock Grill". She herself had only heard it and never had the money-nor desire to eat at the restaurant. His phone call earlier that day (if that's what you would call it) didn't help her nervousness. "Oh well, I guess we'll find out soon enough." she said out loud to herself while she sipped the glass of champagne she had ordered for herself when she first got there.

Finally Barney showed up.

"Hey, Robin, what's up with you?"

"Nothing really, I hate my job."

"Oh, well, that's nothing new." He stated pretty plainly.

"Don't you think there's a problem with that though?" She asked him as she took another sip of her champagne. "But, there is a new job open, but I'm not sure if I'll apply for it."

"Why not?!" Barney was surprised by her answer. "You should! You're way more talented and awesome than your job gives you credit for! I mean, come on, they want you to sit there and read lines off a teleprompter all day! Pssh! Please! You can show them all your possibilities with this new job!"

The small teeth smile that Robin had when Barney first started talking about her had now turned into blushing, and she wasn't very good at hiding her embarrassment.

Thankfully their waiter had interrupted the awkward silence. He was an average height man with curly red hair.

"Hi, I'm Andy, and I'll be your waiter this evening. Would you like to try our stuffed oyster appetizer?"

Robin looked at Barney, his face was blank, as if he was daydreaming; so she answered for the both of them.

"Um, no but thanks anyways."

Suddenly, he came out of his dreamlike state. "Ugh, actually, do you like oysters Robin?"

"Ugh, yeah." Robin said a little uneasy."Okay then, we'll have an order of that and a bottle of red wine please" He said handing Andy a twenty, who was a bit flustered.

"Um, okay then, thanks, usually the tips aren't served until the end of the meal but okay. And those oysters and wine will be right out, sir!"

Barney thanked Andy and continued the conversation with Robin.

"So, anyway, Robin, the reason I asked you to come here, tonight, was that there's this, guy, Brian, at t my work-who likes you."

It was Barney's turn to be flustered, she could see it.

"Oh, really? And he asked you to be the messenger? This ought be interesting." She said in a sarcastic, but intrigued tone. "Oops! That last part wasn't suppose to come out!", she thought! Robin drunk the last of her champagne to hide her uncomfortable smirk. "Oh well, too late now, and besides, I don't think it'll matter that much anyway."

"You see, he works with me in my section, we've worked on various projects together and he's confided in me from time to time, and, well, to put it shortly-he likes everything about you! And I'm not even kidding! What you're about to hear is the truth!" He said before taking a drink of the red wine that Andy had brought out just five minutes after they ordered it. "Okay now-" he said as he started again. "Now, like I said, this guy likes everything about you & he's only met you three times before!" He held up three fingers to attract the short time they've know one another. "He said he watches you every night on the news, even if he has to Tivo it! He said he likes to hear you talk, he likes your laugh, your smile. He said he wants to hold your hand, hold you! And just sit there and listen to your day! That is like Ted pitiful!"Robin was shocked at this, and just as she was about to respond Andy came up with their oysters.

"Here you go! Now, be careful, they're hot. Would you guys like to order your entrée now?""Um, no, I'm not ready yet." Robin admitted.(To tell the truth, she had only glanced at the menu, but was so absorbed into Barney's revelation that she didn't have time to fully look at it.)"Yea, I'm not ready either." Barney explained.

"Well, okay then, I'll give you guys a few more minutes and then I'll come back to see what you want."

"So, where were we?" Barney asked only to quickly answer his own question a few seconds later.

"Oh, yea, Brian! So, tell me, Robin, are you interested in him?"

"Um, I don't know, I mean, he seems-nice- and all, but ugh, why didn't he just tell me all this himself?" Robin asked anxious to hear the answer.

"I agree with you 100 on that Robin, but you see he's working tonight, in France, and he wanted you to know this asap."

"Oh, okay then." Robin noted as she picked at the oysters. She kinda felt bad for judging him wrong.

"Oh, yeah, one more thing-"Barney said continuing their conversation. "Brian aid that he thinks you're absolutely beautiful, adorable humorous and- captivating!"

He could feel his ears heating up. He took another sip of his wine to make the feeling go away.

"Oh, wow! I feel a bit odd seeing how this guy has only met me three times and he claims to be in love with me and wanting to do all this stuff with me, if you ask me personally then I think this may just be an infatuation.-- But, I am flattered with what he's saying about me." She told him grinning and putting her hand to her chest emphasizing herself. They rarely spoke to each other when they met and whenever they did Robin felt it was mutual."You know, I'm sure this Brian guy is great and nice, but some of this stuff you're telling me, just seems a bit freaky-especially that smelling my hair part", she said with a laugh.

"Yea, I mean, can you say, pit-i-ful! If you don't like him then we can tell him that you're just not that into him and he needs to get on with his pit-i-ful self! You get it?" Barney asked with exclaim.

"Yes, Barney, I get it". Robin replied with a chuckle.

Andy soon came back asking for their choices.

Robin chose the seafood chowder and Barney chose the "steak and stuffed potato, and make the steak medium-rare." he added as Andy wrote down their order and refilled their wine.

"Okay then, thank-you, I'll be out with your meals soon." Andy said reassuringly before he left for a table diagonal to them.

Once he left they finally got around to more small talk. This was relief to both of them, but Robin was the only one who showed it physically. "Thank God its something comfortable." Robin noted in her head. She felt the tension tonight for a reason she could not' put her finger on- and that bothered her. But as she said earlier, she was also happy to let it go and unwind with her good friend, Barney Stinson, for a while."So, how does Marshall like his new job?"

"Oh, you know, he's Marshall and not thrilled that's in a bank but happy to have a job. Give it a few weeks and it'll be legendary."

"Oh, well, that's good. We both know I'm stressed with my work, but what about you? How are things going for you in your business? Besides being, legendary!" They both smiled at her last sentence.

"You know, same ol', same ol', still being awesome, and besides buying out Goliath National Bank, it's actually been pretty boring.""Really? Well, I'm sorry to hear that, hey Barney since we're both tired of work what about you say we go blow off some steam, have some fun."

"What do you have in mind Scherbatsky?" He asked with a smug, curious smile.

"I'm not too sure, what about if we go do laser tag again? That was great, there's no denying that!" She said with a big smile.

"Is that a challenge, Scherbatsky?" He asked.

"Possibly, hey, after we do that laser tag you want to go see "Sexdrive"? I heard it's suppose to be hilarious, but not nearly as good as "Harold and Kumar: Escape To Guantonmo Bay". "She said with another smile. She was really glad they were just being their selves again.

"Oh, yeah, that'd be good& you're right about that 'Harold & Kumar' movie, it's sidesplitting, every glorious second of it! And, if we go to that movie we can Papa Johns!"

"Oh, man! I love Papa Johns!" Robin exclaimed!

They went on naming a few other movies they could see such as "Knocked Up" and "Body Of Lies". But what really got Robin's interest was when Barney mentioned the Matchbox Twenty concert.

"Hey, I like Matchbox Twenty, a lot! Anyone else touring with them?" She asked flipping her hair back over her right shoulder.

"Ugh, Dashboard Confessional, Jack Johnson and I think there might be an appearance by Relient K."

"Awesome!" She said, giving him a high five. "I love all those guys! Man! I hope we can go, that'd be an awesome way to let out steam."

After responding to her high five Barney said, "Hey, you know what would be so cool to blow off some steam, do all of these things! Over a like, month!""Oh, yeah, that'd be awesome! Soo fucking cool! Hey, you know two other bands that I like, Hey John, What's My Name Again & Five For Fighting, ooh! And Coldplay!" She was getting kind of loud and her Canadian accent was seeping through her words. Barney was smirking at her, she knew it! "Stop it!" She said. She wanted to throw something at him so, on an impulse she balled up the cloth napkin she had, luckily she decided to take out the silverware from inside the napkin before she threw it at him. She figured that she was being gracious by taking out the silverware.

It hit him in his left shoulder.

She laughed at him.

"Okay, fine I won't make any more fun aboot your Canadian accent!" He said before handing her napkin back to her.

Robin just smiled back at his comment, knowing the trivial ploy he'd just made.

"Hey, look! Our food's here!" Barney said spying Andy carrying their food on a food tray over his shoulder.

"Great, I'm starving." Robin replied.

"The seafood chowder for the lady." He said placing the seafood chowder in front of Robin.

"And the steak and stuffed potato for you sir. Now, be careful, they're both really hot.""What about that?" Robin asked pointed to a loaf of bread on a saucer that sat in the back of the tray.

"Oh, yea, I almost forgot-sorry you guys, here, this is your loaf of sourdough bread-normally you get an individual piece with each meal that you order, but we decided to just put them both into a small loaf; if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, certainly." Barney replied looking up at Andy.

They ate partly in silence, enjoying their food and wine so much. Then Barney spoke up once he already ate over half of both his potato and steak. Robin too had finished a little over half her soup and together they had Andy bring out another small loaf of the sourdough bread. Andy informed them they had to pay more for the extra loaf, which lead to Robin making this announcement: "Barney, you really don't have to pay for all this."

"Okay then Robin, I'll let you pay for that loaf." He sarcastically spread his hand out over the new loaf of bread Andy brought out.

To this gesture Robin just rolled her eyes and replied with, "Barney, I'm serious, you truly don't have to pay for all of this, in fact, I insist that you let me pay for your meal and the dessert if we get one-okay?""Fine, fine, do what you want, I was just trying to be generous.""Barney, you are being generous, very generous in fact. So generous that I feel the need to pay you back, so I am.""Okay then.""Yes, it is okay." Robin repeated just to clarify to him that she intended to follow out with her payments.

Andy cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Speaking of dessert, would you like to try our chocolate-strawberry soufflé? It's only 11.99. He said looking at Robin.

"Um, I don't know Robin, what would you like, sense you are paying for it?" Barney asked look Robin in the eyes.

"Sure, that sounds delicious!"

"Okay then, I'll just give you two a couple of minutes to finish your dinner and I'll have that soufflé out at your request." He stated smiling before he scurried off into the kitchen of the, "Blue Rock Grill".

Once he left they had finished their meal when Barney had pulled out a cigar from his jacket pocket and lit it up, right there in front of her!She sat there for a few seconds with her mouth hanging open a bit then she said, "I didn't know they allowed smoking in here!"

Barney took out the cigar to exhale and talk. "Oh, yeah, they do- I checked." He said handing the waiter who was pouring them more wine a fifty.

"Whoa! Thanks, man!" The waiter said sort of quietly with a smile, to go along with the secrecy.

For about the fourth time that night Robin's only response to Barney's usual antics was a simple laugh and a head nod of approval/disapproval.

"Well, then, in that case, can you get me one?"

"Yeah, sure!" Barney replied, putting down his cigar on an ashtray the waiter had gave to him after Barney handed him the money. Then, he reached into his coat side and pulled out a cigar which was held in a pouch that could hold up to seven, Robin observed. He handed her the cigar, but not before lighting it for her.

She was a bit taken back at this."Oh, wow! Thank-you Barney."

"Your welcome." He stated. He smiled at her softly and stared at her for a few minutes dazed, "just like he was at the beginning of the meal", Robin thought when she recognized his staring.

Andy had just brought out their soufflé a few minutes earlier, and they'd already ate some of.

Robin exhaled out from her cigar in a very playful seductive way, at which Barney laughed and covered his hand with his face. "Oh, Robin, I love you, your great you know that, just great."

This time Robin really was a bit shocked, Barney Stinson was not the man to use the word "love", lightly.

"I was playing, it was just a joke, he knew that right?" She thought with a quizzical look on her face.

Then he picked up his cigar from the ashtray, blowing in and out on the tobacco rolled delicacy. But, after that, he got real quiet.

Robin sighed and smiled a short smile. She felt his weirdness coming back. "Brace yourself for this one Scherbatsky". She told herself after she sighed, she could feel chills on her arms. "Oh, that's never good, she thought looking down for something to distract her mind from trying to process what was about to happen. She took a sip of her wine along with a small bite of the dessert.

Barney cleared his throat & began with the conversation that minus well kill him."Yes, this will be way worse than that bus accident", he told himself.

"Robin, speaking of love I,I have a confession to make."

At first he wasn't even looking at her but, he raised his voice enough so she could hear him, he was swirling the wine in his glass. As he looked at the purple crimson pool of agony he thought that if some one stabbed him right now that his heart and blood would be that color-the color of red wine. The color of wine that you drink with a lover. God how did Robin not notice any of this! Maybe it was just him, maybe his emotions had for once (the "old-Barney") got the best of him. "Barney, you're nothing but a worthless drunk, sex-addict. This amazing, loving chick will never love you the way you do, no matter how much or how hard you long for her too." His antagonist of a conscience at that moment told him. He told his Satan, "Fuck You".

He did not agree nor disagree though. He finished his wine and seriously began the conversation that could kill him.

"Um, Barney, are, you, um, okay?" Right after she asked him that she shoved a fairly large piece of soufflé into her mouth, worrying that the answer to that question wouldn't be good.

"Robin, I, I love you." He was looking up now.

She just sat there blank. "Hopefully she'll stay like that so I can finish this, thing, without having to explain it, because in the end it'll explain itself and she can't ask me to explain this because I seriously have not clue as to what the hell is happening-God, she is beautiful." He thought.

"Robin, don't you get it! I am Brian here! I love you Robin, I really love you!" He raised his voice so loud that the people from other tables where starting to stare at them. They both were a bit embarrassed.

She still just sat there in silence.

"Robin, that's me! Okay, whether or not you want to believe it that's me. I'm, I'm that guy, I'm that pitiful guy who wants to hold your hand and listen to how your day went, I want to just be with you because you make me feel so warm and content, not just happy but content Robin. And, yes Robin, I do want to smell your hair, I love your laugh, I love to see you smile and to chase your dreams. Your are the most unique person I have ever met. Robin, I can only be my true self when I'm around you."

"Wow, wow, wow, um, wow-like really, wow! Um.." Robin stopped, she didn't know how to respond to that. There were a million thoughts swarming through her head at the moment. "No, no , no, no ,no ,no ,no, no." She just kept repeating.

Her brain traced back to that night at the bar when that girl asked her how long her and Barney had been going out, and how she just kept saying no, just like now.'16 nos, really, 16 nos?' She remember him saying, she was still surprised that he counted. Suddenly her thoughts switched back to the situation at hand.

She heard him say the words but it's like her brain stopped processing after he said 'I love you.' "I love you. Was Barney Stinson even capable of, love? Wow, well obliviously he is. Wow" She had to keep her head on straight. "Okay now, think rationally Scherbatsky, you can't be any more irrational than you've already shown, or else there's a serious chance that you might breakdown into chaos." She told herself.

She really didn't feel the need to say 'no' or 'wow' anymore so she just downed the rest of her wine, and when their waiter showed up a precisely the right moment she didn't even give him time to ask if they wanted any more wine-she just took the bottle off the tray and poured some into her glass until she was out of breath.

"Ugh, you can just leave the bottle here." Barney said to the waiter, even though he was looking straight at Robin.

"Yea,um, is everything okay here?" The concerned waiter asked.

"Yeah,its fine."

The waiter stared down at Barney for reassurance," I promise, it is. Look, we'll call a cab home and everything when we get ready to leave, now can you leave?""Yea, fine, but if I notice anything else-his eyes moved from Barney to Robin and back to Barney-strange going on here at this table, then I'll have to call our manager.""He said we're fine didn't he?" Robin stated.

"I'm just letting you know." The waiter told both of them, before he left.

"Well then, that wasn't very rational now was it Scherbatsky?"

Robin wasn't sure if that was her conscience or Barney who had said that; when she realized it was Barney she just looked up and stared at him. "Oh, my , God, he read my mind!""No, it wasn't, I'm sorry I embarrassed you like that.""well, I guess it's understandable for getting all these people's attention earlier.""Yea,I but I really am sorry, I don't know what came over me." She was picking at the sides and top of the soufflé with her fork.

"I think ordering this soufflé at the time was a good idea, but now, not so much. But, I don't' know, we can still eat it, I mean, it's already half gone anyways." She felt she needed to say something to feel the silence. Even if the silence was just for a few seconds, it was still silence and Robin hates having do deal with awkward silences.

"Rationally. Think rationally." Robin repeated the thought half out loud, but it doesn't count, she told herself because it's only plausible that he could of heard her. And, the plausible scared her.

"Um, yea, I, kinda had a feeling that you did, you, know, have feelings-erm love me. It came to me a few weeks after we slept together, and all those obvious signs that you were oblivious to, but you were hanging around me all the time." she told him. Right after her sentence she drunk some more of the wine, then grabbed the water glass and took some of that. It was cool and refreshing as it went down her throat and into her lungs.

"Once, I found out though, I decided to just let you decide where to go and what to do with it. I was afraid that if I came to you then it'd ruin our friendship, and you'd think I was weird."

Barney was literally on the edge of his seat. She looked at him, wanting an answer. From the silence came her answer.

"Alright!" Barney shouted just loud enough to get her attention and put a small smile on her face. He pumped his fist up into the air and then unclasped it and put it over the table for a high-five.

"Up high!"

But when Robin didn't respond to the gesture of approval, he put his hand down as if it were in slow motion.

"Oh," he replied. He looked a little like a lost puppy and Robin felt a bit sad for him.

After a few momentary minutes of silence Barney said, "This was a mistake.", in a monotone voice.

"No, no, it wasn't, that's nonsense. I promise, none of this was a mistake. Here have a bite." She told him holding out a piece of the cake with her fork up to Barney's mouth.

"Sure." he replied nonchalantly as he opened his mouth.(Okay, so, he was a bit surprised that she had done that-but no one likes sad Barney, "so she was trying to cheer me up." He thought.)

As he chewed she talked to him.

"Okay now, she spoke slowly, "this is what's happening, I, I , like you as well, but we both know that we're unsure if this"-she gestured between the two-"will work. Um,I'd like it to work, and with that in mind we can do this-if we take it slow." She put emphasize on 'slow.'

"Okay then, that's good, that's really good." He responded with a smile on her face, which made her happy.

"Here, come here." She said as she wrapped her arms around him over the table. He liked this a lot.

"I am hopefully for us Robin, I really am."

Looking straight into his eyes she said, "I know you are." Then gave him a kiss on the lips. Barney was surprised by this.

"Wow." He said grinning.

The rest of their evening was filled with calm small talk. As they were getting ready to leave Barney asked as he put his arm around her shoulder, "So, when are you up for laser tag?" He asked. "I mean, sense, you are in control. For now anyways."

She glared at him and playfully nudged him in his right side with her elbow. And when he moved his hand to her butt, she couldn't help but smile.

**Alternate Ending: **This takes place after the butt grabbing ")

The walked outside the restaurant.

"Your know this means giving up sleeping with all that moves right?" She whispered int his ear.

"Yes, but I think that's a sacrifice I can handle." He replied.

Suddenly she grabbed the back of his head with her left hand and crashed his lips into hers, French kissing him. He responded with more kissing which continued for a few more seconds. After they broke apart Barney spoke up, "Ugh, yes, that's diffidently something I can handle." He said with a smile as they kissed once more.

They walked off to their individual cars. Robin was only a quarter of a mile away from the "Blue Rock Grill" when her cell phone rang; it was Barney.

"Hey there, Hot Stuff." She said with a flashy smile in her overhead mirror, he was right behind her, he flashed her headlights at her.

"Right back at you, so what happened to taking it slow?"

"Oh, we still are- yea, we are not sleeping together for a long time-nor are we telling anyone that we're going out.""Um, well duh!"

"Hey, one more thing, can we not drop the 'I-L-U' bombs so quickly."

"Yea, sure. Bye Robin." He said with a smile.

"Bye, see you tomorrow." She hung up the phone, but once they moved out of the light and Barney couldn't see her she said to herself, "I like you, a lot!"


End file.
